I know a lot of people who are clueless on how to deal with such situations. The person yelling could be an employer, a colleague, a friend or a family member but the thing which makes it more uncomfortable is when the person is your boss.
The reasons why someone gets into such situation
- Misunderstanding the expectations of boss
- Lacking subject knowledge
- Missing a deadline genuinely/carelessness
- By nature the boss being an aggressive person
- Boss's bad mood being carried away
- ....the list goes on
The reasons why such situations become stressful
- Fear of career within and outside the company being at stake
- Fear of not getting proper appraisals/promotion
- Current financial dependencies
- Location dependencies
- Ashamed of being yelled/abused in public
- Comparison with colleagues [who you dont consider competitive enough]
- High regards for the boss [ you just cant digest a disparaging comment from him]
- You don't enjoy coming to office
- Lose focus/interest on job
- Lose confidence on abilities to perform the job
- Creativity is severely hampered
- Become overly submissive
- Mental and Physical health deteriorates
- Personal life gets disturbed [scared to take leaves/permission for personal works]
First impression is the best impression
If not with current boss at least with colleagues maintain good relation and create good impression. If the boss nature itself is an agressive then there is high probability that his colleagues might be knowing that and you will definitely have their sympathies.
Try gaining credibility
Through your work-deliverables, spoken/written etiquette you should try gaining his confidence. Work on improving your subject knowledge if you are new to the field.
Study his profile- understand his past experiences, the people he dealt, the projects he executed, his achievements etc to understand the expectations of boss
To-do and don'ts
Always keep note of your common mistakes.
Never repeat a mistake.
Maintain a To-Do list and always be prompt on things you are working on
Discussing things unrelated to job might work negative when things go wrong. Never show over-enthusiasm/over-sincerity as it seems you are faking
Keep it simple
Always keep the conversations simple and straight forward
Escalate the matter
I'd suggest refrain from escalating the matter to higher-ups or HR. It should be done only when you have a back-up option (like alternate job/business) but you still expect things to change with your current job.
This is the last option you should follow when nothing works out that is when you are the most unluckiest person to get such a boss. This tactic is a copyrighted one [thanks to PKK]. The name of the tactic is derived from the shortest form of cricket [Read 20-20].
Before one follows this tactic, one should internalise the following
Work is just a part in life,There is so much in life apart from work.
Never lose self-confidence. If not this job/project there is always a next one. The current boss will not be there for eternity so you are. Look for a likeminded person in your office or outside with whom you can vent out all your frustration. Talk about the incidents happened in office and laugh out loud on all that. This is very important for the tactic to work.
Coming to the tactic...
- Just consider every session with the boss a 20-20 match [hit out or get out].
- Never carry forward outcome[good or bad] of one session to another one
- Whatever may happen inside the 4 walls should be forgotten the moment you leave the door